I wrote yesterday about trying to have love, patience, kindness, and understanding with the new situation with my aunt and my mother’s dog. It is really strange because the power of love is very strong. I find myself being willing and able to help my aunt and having patience for her without any problem and it’s because I love her. I look at my own dogs and it’s the same. I know I love them. I am willing and able to take care of them no matter what happens. I am all in and I will care for them until they die. It isn’t a question for me. I can’t imagine not doing that for my husband. I don’t care what I’d need to do for him, I know that I would do it and I would do it gladly because I love him. Finally, I know that I did do that with my beagle Nellie that passed away. From the moment she came into my life until she passed, no matter how much she annoyed me or drove me crazy, I loved her, and I took care of her. I never considered for a second not taking care of her.
And now, I have my mother’s dog. I don’t love this animal at all. I guess it would be okay if I didn’t have any feelings at all, but I don’t. I don’t like her at all. It’s the complete opposite feeling of love. I don’t know why I feel it, but I’ve been telling everyone that I have felt this way for years. No one wanted to listen to me or believe me. I don’t know what to do about it. I mean I don’t know why I feel the way I do, and I don’t know how to change the way I feel. I’m not sure I can, but animals can feel it. That dog can tell she has a human around her with extremely negative energy for her. I don’t think that’s good for her. I don’t think it is good for anyone, but I don’t feel like anyone will believe me. All I know how to do is pray. I can’t change her, and worse I can’t change how I feel.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
