I gave a presentation today for my writers group. This time was the second time this year and it went better than the first. After the presentation, several people came up to me and told me what a good job I did. There’s still a part of me that is surprised when people tell me that I did a good job. I know that I shouldn’t be surprised. I spent time on the presentation, did research, and practiced what I was going to say. I just didn’t know what would happen. After all, when I got up and started speaking, I could have frozen like a deer in the headlights.
I think there’s a part of me that may not be very good at the confidence part of life, but I am awfully good at the surrendering part of life. When I get up to speak, I don’t know what is going to happen and with my OCD, I can imagine all the worst-case scenarios. However, faith gets me through life. It’s about surrendering. When it was time for me to get up and start talking, I didn’t think anymore about what could happen, I just put in all in God’s hands, and I just did it.
It’s weird, for me anxiety is more about the anticipation of the unknown. Not knowing what is going to come. However, once the unknown comes, it is never as bad as my imagination can create. I realize more and more everyday that if I just believe God is with me that no matter what happens I will be able to handle it.
Surrender is love, surrender is bliss.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
