I took a flight today. I wish I could say that it went well, but it didn’t. Even with all the preparations and everything that I know about facing anxiety, when I had to face the fear of boarding the plane, all the symptoms of anxiety just flooded into my body. I had to take my anti-anxiety meds. I felt like I was going to lose it. All the noise around me seems extra loud. All the sights around me seemed extra bright. I just tried to close my eyes and not think about it. However, my hands shook, my heart raced, and my head pounded as the blood throbbed through every blood vessel in my head.
I even found myself sitting in the airplane seat thinking about not being able to get out the plane and feeling trapped. It was as if everything that could go wrong with my anxiety, did go wrong with my anxiety. All my planning didn’t help at all. Yet, it was alright. I got to my destination, the plane didn’t fall to the ground, I didn’t have a massive panic attack.
The reason: God was with me. God is always with me. I might have the craziest idea ever, but even when everything goes wrong, I know that I’m not going to completely fall apart. God’s my safety net. I can’t imagine anything that I can’t handle because God won’t abandon me. I know that as long as He is by my side, I will be able to endure. Crazy as it seems, but I know because of faith that no matter what goes wrong even if the worst evil befalls me, God will help me to endure. And on days like today, when my hands are shaking, my head is pounding, and I just want to collapse, I find comfort knowing God will hold me up. Well, that and knowing my husband has promised to get me safely through the airport.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
