I made a confession to my husband today. Ever since my mother passed away, whenever I get upset, fearful, frustrated, or angry, I hear her when I speak. I don’t use words like she would, but the pitch and tone of my voice sounds like her voice to me. It was especially true this week because yesterday, I had a very bad pressure headache, but instead of feeling pain, it was just that weird pressure thing that put me in a bad mood. I didn’t know that rain was coming so I just thought I was in a bad mood, but then it rained last night. I realized that my head had been under pressure, and I was acting so strange because of the change in pressure.
I can’t spend my life scared that I am becoming my mother or that I am somehow channeling her. I can’t try to never get upset or frustrated. However, I think there’s one thing I can do. When I hear my mother’s voice, it can be like a sign for me. I believe that I get signs from God all the time guiding me all the time. Why can’t hearing her voice let me know that I am going in the wrong direction away from God? I have been great about recognizing all these signs and symbols to let me know when things are going in the right direction, maybe it’s time for me to start paying attention to when the world seems off.
I spent most of my young life being scared of everything all the time and now that I feel that I can be comfortable in the world sometimes maybe I can actually discover my own intuition. There might be a day when I might be able to trust my own instincts. Anything is possible with God, right?
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
