I listened to a documentary today about people with rare chronic illnesses. Although my chronic illnesses aren’t rare, I totally understood the plight of these people. I know what it feels like to be in pain and to suffer and yet at the same time feel guilty because of what you are putting your family through, feel frustrated because the doctors act like it is “all in your head”, and feel defeated because all the alternative medicine cost so much out of pocket and keeps failing to provide any relief. It’s a very difficult journey. I have such empathy for the people in this series.
Yet, there was one aspect of their stories and mine that differs. When they talked about their symptoms, they still believed that somehow, they could get better, somehow there was a cure. It seemed that these people had not found acceptance. I can’t tell for sure. All I can really know is my own story.
One good example is my migraine headaches. On my last doctor’s visit, the doctor wanted to know about my days of pain. I didn’t know because I experience pain in my head every day. I only pay attention to the days when the pain is so bad that it disrupts my normal activity. I realized that the doctors weren’t going to find an answer. I was going to drive myself crazy, going to doctors, hoping for the impossible. I didn’t want to spend my life that way. So, instead I put it in God’s hands. I see doctors for my migraines. I take the treatment and thankfully I am stable for now. Most of the time, I just give up the headache pain to God. I know that somewhere in His plan, I have migraines. I accept the pain and don’t try to avoid it. I don’t wish it away. It is part of my life and part of the gift God gave me. So, I feel pain knowing that God will help me endure. We will all face challenges in our lifetimes. Some of them will be extremely uncomfortable and painful. Yet, we have to face those challenges and accept them because they are part of God’s plan for us. Pray for mercy, pray for release for the pain, and then pray for His will to be done. Isn’t that what Jesus did in the garden before the crucifixion?
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
