After my mom died, I kept trying to find some peace. I thought if I prayed and asked God for help that somehow, I would reach this epiphany where everything would make sense. I would understand my mother, feel total forgiveness, and everything would be alright. None of that happened and I started to think maybe I was setting my expectations too high. Maybe it just takes time. The healing probably comes slowly, and my heart would only start to feel better gradually.
Then last night, I went to sleep. As I laid in the bed and closed my eyes, I had this wonderful sensation come over my body. The only way I can describe it was peace. I had this feeling of warmth and love inside of me. It is strange, but the absolute easiest way to describe it isn’t by what it was, but what it wasn’t. It was the absence of anxiety. I usually have this feeling of being on edge all the time. I feel worried about something and last night as I drifted to sleep, I didn’t. I felt a peace that I can’t remember feeling in years.
I don’t know what the future brings. I don’t what my past really means anymore. I just know that I think God is answering my prayers. And I am so thankful just to know that He’s listening.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
