I saw a documentary on brainwashing. Some people say it doesn’t exist. I think it does because my family did it to me. I think it all depends on what brainwashing is defined as. For me, my reality was shaped by the people around me and they were lying to me. I didn’t understand or know that they were lying to me for a very long time.
I think some people don’t want to believe brainwashing exists because it’s scary to think that anyone can be brainwashed, but it all goes back to the idea that I shape my own reality. Those ideas and thoughts that I choose to believe about myself, and the world will shape who I am and how I see the world. And if I let someone or something become more important than anything else in my life, then it is possible that he, she, or it could influence my reality.
For example, my mother told me for the time, I was a small child that all men were dangerous. It didn’t matter who the man was. My father, my brother, a priest, a teacher, or a policeman. All of them were dangerous and could be potential abusers. I had to keep my guard up. Since she was my primary care giver and someone I trusted, I believed her. What she told me became part of my value system. For a long time, I was nervous around all men no matter who they were because I saw them as potential sexual abusers. I still have remnants of this indoctrination in my head whenever I deal with men. However, as soon as it pops into my head, I know to dismiss it because it is based on a warped value system.
What really helps me is the idea that I should hold God above all others. God is more important in my life than anything else. When I find myself lost and confused, I turn to God for guidance. He and he alone shapes my reality. At least, I hope that’s how I am living. I try to not let anything else become too important in my life. I know that my reality can be influenced, my senses aren’t perfect and can fool me, my memory and brain can play tricks, this life could be all one crazy stimulation, but the one thing I can hold onto is God. So, I do hold onto that faith. I let that faith make whatever my life is be meaningful and filled with love.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
