I spoke to my husband about my need to identify myself as a writer. I am realizing that I am a writer because it taps into this feeling of a universality that we are all connected and that means that we aren’t alone. When I feel this connection to everyone else, I stop feeling challenged to love, forgive, and understand my brothers and sisters in Christ. Instead, those feelings begin to flow through me much easier because I know that they are an extension of God and an extension of myself. My brothers and sisters, no matter who they are and no matter what they have done, even if they want to hurt me or kill me, still need my love and understanding as much as I need to love myself.
When I write I find out who I am, but I also find out who we all are. I have spent my entire life feeling like an alien observing humanity. I never felt like I fit in or belonged to a group. When people all cheer together, dance together, or clap together, I don’t feel like doing it. I don’t feel a bond like I think I am supposed to feel. When everyone goes left, I feel a pull to go the opposite direction. However, in this one case, I feel a sense of belonging. We are all human and all God’s children.
The other day, I came to a realization that I had never really understood before. I don’t know if the story of Adam and Eve is true or not. I don’t know if any of the creation stories are. I don’t know if any of the scientific theories are correct either. However, I do know one thing to be true. With all of our scientific knowledge, we have never been able to create life. Whatever we do, cloning, genetic engineering, IVF, etc. We always take a living cell and build upon it. That means that at some point life started somewhere in the distant past. We all came from that life. Every single one of us. No new life has been created in recorded human history. We all come from the same life. There’s nothing that should divide us, not race, not religion, not anything. We all come from the same place. What a miracle that is, too. Life starts and it blossoms from one place into billions. I witness every day a miracle right before my eyes; we all do and yet we take it for granted it.
For me, it is just further proof, no matter where we started or where we are going, we all are connected somehow. There’s no denying that. I don’t need to believe in God to see that everyone is my brother and sister, it’s plain as day. I don’t need to know how it all started. God just lets me understand what it all means. God teaches me that if we are all connected, then it is a miracle that shouldn’t be taken for granted. He teaches me that I should love all my brothers and sisters, especially the ones who are difficult to love. Most importantly, He teaches me that love will connect me to the universe and Him and everyone else for eternity. I will never be alone. That’s an amazing reason to write.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
