My husband and I were stuck in a traffic jam. We always joke that God gave me the memory. So today I joked that God gave him the Zen. Because while the traffic jam made me anxious, my husband was fine. He told me he knew everything was going to be okay because of faith and asked about my own faith. I said that for me it was a fake it until you make it type of thing.
There are many challenges in life. I’m not perfect and sometimes I get angry, I feel anxious, and I just am not the person I know God wants me to be. That’s okay. He made me to be imperfect. I’m His perfectly created imperfect creation. It sounds like an oxymoron, but there’s a certain beauty in something that has imperfections. He knew what He was doing. I wouldn’t be me if I was perfect and I wouldn’t be what He wanted to create if I was perfect. Just look around at nature, there’s beauty in the chaos and imperfection. It’s the same with me.
I don’t always feel God’s force within me. I don’t always feel like being patient, understanding, loving, and forgiving. Faith is a fake it until you make it kind of thing. I know that even if I don’t feel it, God wants me to do it. So, I choose to do it. And I have found miraculously, if I do as God commands, somehow my heart and my spirit will follow. I may not want to forgive, but if I chose to forgive, I will find that forgiveness inside my heart. If I choose God and follow my faith, then somehow the rest will fall into place. I don’t know how. I might have to fake it for a while, but it always falls into place.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
