Yesterday, I heard a song. The lyrics made it seem like getting out of a romantic relationship would be like being set free. I thought it was ironic because the day I married my husband, I felt like I had been set free. There hasn’t been a day in my marriage when I have ever felt like I was trapped in my marriage or that I wasn’t free.
My husband helped me to learn the true power of love. Not just romantic love, but the love of oneself. When I was younger, I felt this horrible weight over me because of my mother. She never wanted to let me be my own person. I always had to answer to her. I always thought I would never truly be free until she died. There were even times, I am ashamed to admit, that I looked forward to when she would no longer be with us. Then, I found out that being free had nothing to do with her.
My sense of freedom has nothing to do with my mother or my husband or anyone else for that matter. My sense of freedom has everything to do with me. I am free because I believe myself to be so. I am free because I have chosen the life that I lead. I no longer answer to my mother, not that she even notices. However, I know that I have stopped worry about what she thinks or says about my life. I am free in my relationship with my husband. I am not bound to him. I choose him every single day.
The point is that although God sees all the days of my life beyond the scope of time, He still gives me free will. I choose my fate. I choose my faith. I am free and every day I choose God.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
