Sometimes when I start to feel really tired or have headache problems, it feels like I am sinking into a really dark place. It can even get to where I feel like I am getting lost. When I find myself lost like that, I experience some of the worst thoughts. I doubt myself and the direction where I am heading in my life. It isn’t just wondering if things in my life are okay; I wonder if anything in my life is worth anything. If it is headache related, I start to have these periods of anxiety and I don’t even know where the anxiety is coming from. I’ll get into really bad moods and I know that it’s from the headache, but I still feel bad anyway. It really makes me feel like I am lost in darkness, but the absolute worst thought is I don’t feel close to God. When things are going great in my life, He feels near, but when I am lost in darkness, He just doesn’t feel close.
But that’s what faith is all about. I don’t really need to have faith during the easy times in my life, I need to have it when I struggle. When I am lost in the darkness and I can’t see the world around me, that’s when I need to believe God is near even when I can’t feel Him near me. Even if I never had another moment that let me know He was near, I would still believe in God. Even if somehow, someone proved the Bible to be false, it wouldn’t matter. What I believe isn’t about reason or feeling, it is all about just having a faith in God. It’s something deep inside of me that I know to be true; it’s the only thing I know that is true. My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
