When I was a teenager, I would picture myself as I hoped I could be. I would picture the best version of my realistic self. I thought that even if that isn’t what people saw maybe one day they could see that person in me. As I grew older, it felt like I was getting closer and closer to where the picture of myself inside of my head was the same as what everyone saw. Then today I realized that I look like the picture inside of my head. I may not be the most beautiful person in the world, but I look the way I want to look. I’m happy with who I am and I have a sense of self that feels good because I feel like a person with my own identity.
I know most people take that for granted, but for me it is a big deal. When I was young, I didn’t even want to look at myself in the mirror. I hated it. I didn’t feel like I was a person on my own. My relationships were so co-dependent, I didn’t have a sense of myself. Even if it took half a century to get to this point, it feels wonderful to know that I can look at myself in the mirror and be okay. I feel blessed to know that I feel like I am my own person. And most important, I’m not just saying it because I know it is what I need to believe about myself. I can say it confidently because I feel it deep inside about myself.
When God commands that we love others and we love ourselves. I think the first step is being able to accept myself as I am and maybe even if I still have doubt, I am on my way to really finding that self-acceptance. I thank God for that.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
