I realize that I have spent much of my life considering all the things that could go wrong. I am great with my OCD being worst-case scenario girl. God made me the way I am and I think that this might have been in His plan. The other day, I found myself walking to the kitchen with a paring knife in my hand and in my mind, I could see myself taking the knife and stabbing the side of my neck. It is an action that I would never ever do, but because I have this crazy OCD mind, I imagine the most horrific ideas sometimes. These ideas help me when I write horror stories, but they also show me that I should be thankful for my life.
When I imagine bad things happening to me, I can really see it. I see the entire story of a horrific car crash, a home invasion, or a loved one dying like a movie inside my head. I feel scared and my heart races. I realize how blessed my life truly is and I pray to God thanking Him for my life.
Yet, lately, I have started to ask myself, what if I were to dream about more? Instead of imagining the worst, what if I left myself open to all the possibilities? I think about the story of Icarus. His father created wings for him, but he flew too close to the sun. The glue on his wings melted. His wings tore apart and he fell to Earth dying. I don’t want to fly too close to the sun and then crash and burn. I don’t want to be prideful believing I can do anything, especially without God’s help. However, maybe I could try new things. If I always believe the worst is going to happen, then my life is limited in what’s possible, but if I open my heart to whatever God sends my way, then I might fail a lot, but I will also get to experience so much more.
Tonight, I pray for God to grant me the courage to open my heart to all of the possibilities in life and I pray a prayer of thanksgiving because God has blessed my life. He has stood by me and walked with me all the days of my life. I am truly thankful for His guidance and so very grateful for the beautiful gift of my life.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
