I keep having this dream where someone is attacking me. I try to run away, but I can’t move. I try to scream, but nothing comes out of my mouth. Since I have lucid dreams, I try to rewind the dream and I spend the entire night, reliving this moment over and over again hoping that at some point I will find my voice or the power in my limbs to move. Usually, I wake up feeling like a hamster that has spent all night running on a wheel that goes nowhere. I know this dream is about feeling helpless. It isn’t difficult to figure it out. The hard part isn’t figuring out the dream’s meaning; the hard part is figuring out what to do about it.
I believe that if there’s a life lesson we are meant to learn that God keeps giving us the opportunity to learn it. If we don’t get it the first time, then the opportunity just keeps coming up again and again. Mine seems to be with this dream. I ‘ve spent my life feeling paranoid about other people. When I start to think I understand and try to move past it, some incident comes up that totally throws me off balance again. It makes me feel like I didn’t understand anything at all. And I wonder what it means.
I am starting to think there’s some type of a balance between having my own voice and having fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Maybe the dreams are about learning to have that voice and once I feel comfortable in my own skin and with my own voice, I will be able to stop being so paranoid because I will be able to speak and move for myself.
I have written about the idea that God asks for us to love others as we would love ourselves. That means that we have to love ourselves so that we can love others. Maybe I have to find my own voice and myself so that I can truly hear others and experience their stories. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with the world today. Everyone’s on social media trying to be heard, but no one is really listening to each other.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
