I haven’t been feeling good and it has me thinking about my greatest fear. I worry about going through life being totally inconsiderate and horrible to other people and not knowing it. It is sort of like being worried about being the emperor in the emperor’s new clothes story and not having anyone around to tell me that I am being an asshole.
I start to feel this worry more when I am sick because I tend to focus more on my body. It sort of goes with illness. The interesting part is that when I focus on my body, it is difficult to understand and feel my spirit reaching out to the greater universe. I have trouble knowing that I am not just this tiny little body in a tiny little space in time. Outside of my own body, I am a part of the human race, I belong to a long line of God’s children, and we are all connected together. The love of God connects all of His creation and somehow makes all of this meaningful and eternal. It’s a miracle that I don’t quite understand, but I know that I will one day. Until then, I keep trying to feel love not just for myself and my loved ones, but for all my brothers and sisters in Christ. I’m not just this tiny person a little speck in a huge world at a single blip in time, I am a part of God’s plan.
My faith saved me. May God’s peace reside in all of our hearts.
